Distance

I feel this love deep inside me,

It’s warmth or glow I cannot show.

I take it to bed and awake with it,

It burns, it hurts, it’s warm, it’s home.

But like all homes, my heart has its attic,

When winter arrives, it becomes too cold.

Vulnerable it is to you alone.

I doubt myself, I doubt you

I doubt my fate and trust only yours.

Yet I try to shift and twist,

To delude and deceit the destined to be,

I poise myself to prepare for thy permanent presence,

The presence I wish would be infinite.

I eagerly watch for your gestures and movements.

Praying that your eyes may aim at mine,

And then, when I see darkness, I turn too cold,

I’m hostile, I’m horrified, and I’m crowded with hate,

And then I wait…

I wait for the feelings to pass and calm down,

I wait for the wind to carry them away.

I know, I know it’s more than this.

Its chance, its fate, and destiny waits.

The plan of destiny I will accept,

It knows me more than I know myself.

It may be so, you are far away,

The distance I hope won’t make us prey.